Your language not only reflects your behavior but also influences it. Therefore, to succeed in living a positive life, you must choose and use positive words and phrases. So examine and, if necessary, change the words you use.
Choosing The Right Words
Be aware of the words and phrases you naturally use. If necessary, ask others to tell you what expressions you use. Then identify those that you use when you are being self-critical, pessimistic, or problem-focused. For each, generate a positive alternative. Then, when you hear yourself using a pessimistic phrase, stop in midsentence and switch to the more optimistic one. In time you will spot when you are talking negatively, and automatically correct what you are saying.
You probably use phrases such as “I should…,” “I should not…,” “I must…,” “I ought to…” when you want to do something different from what you are doing. But by using these words you imply that your current course of action is mistaken or quite simply bad - and that is likely to make you feel demotivated, anxious, or resentful. Analyze why you find it hard to change. You may find good reasons for your current behavior and decide to go on as before. But if you want to change, try using phrases such as “I would get further if I…,” “I intend to…,” I want to…”
Affirmations are phrases that encapsulate the good side of life: “I am happy” or “People love me.” Affirmations imprint positive beliefs on your subconscious, and by doing so can help you achieve a goal. To create an affirmation, first decide what your aim is. Express that briefly, so that you remember it easily. Word it in the present tense, so that your unconscious realizes that you want action now. Then repeat your affirmation, with energy, at regular intervals, until it takes effect.