People who have high self-esteem are natural positive thinkers. And having a positive outlook means having high selfesteem. It follows that if you use positive thinking techniques to enhance your core beliefs, your self-esteem will soar.
Rethinking the Messages
The more positive the judgments others make about you, the better you feel about yourself; the more negative their judgments, the worse you feel. The most crucial step in feeling good about yourself is realizing that no one can make you feel bad unless you let them. So distance yourself from those who criticize you. Instead, take on board other people’s gratitude and praise.
Setting Your Own Targets
If you largely succeed in what you expect of yourself, your self-esteem will be solid. So aim only as high as you can realistically reach, rather than thinking you ought to be perfect. In the same way, do not aim so low that you underachieve. When you do succeed, congratulate yourself. Avoid comparing yourself against others; everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Set your own expectations and judge your achievement by your improvement.
Being Kind to Yourself
If you were supporting someone who had low self-esteem, you would not criticize them and put them down. Yet you may give yourself a hard time in just that way. Be fair to yourself, and offer yourself the same kindness as you would instinctively offer a friend. Moment to moment, during the day, point out what you are doing right. Yes, be realistic about your limitations, but forgive yourself for any failures. Encourage yourself to learn lessons from your own mistakes.